Gay Online Dating Services

As the author of the first body language book for gay men, I’m often asked how male body language affects guy-on-guy dating. The answer is plenty. But to understand why certain postures, gestures and expressions make you more appealing to gay guys, you have to understand the 5 major principles of gay body language:

#1. Words lie, bodies don’t.

The truth leaks out of our bodies like a pockmarked water pail. As soon as we put a finger in one hole another one opens up. You may think you look calm, cool and collected, but look down– your foot’s tapping the floor like a woodpecker. Sexual signals bounce all over the place whenever gay men get together, and they’re being sent with heads, eyes, arms, hands, legs, and feet. Yes, feet. Long story, keep reading.

#2. Your body language changes when you see somebody hot. And you’re usually not aware of it.

Hidden camera studies show that a man’s posture changes when he sees somebody that turns him on. He, or more to the point, YOU, will:

1. Pull your stomach. (To look sleeker)
2. Throw your shoulders back (to occupy more space)
3. Puff up your chest (to look bigger)
4. Lift your head (To look taller)
5. Protrude your jaw (to look more dominant)

It’s a form of preening. Researchers call it “Auto-erotic signaling.”

#3. Body language doesn’t just reflect your inner emotions. It creates them.

Keeping your body language “open” isn’t just critical to changing other people’s moods and attitudes; it’s critical to changing yours. This concept doesn’t just apply to your hands or your palms; it applies to everything. The more you “fake” open and inviting gestures and expressions, the more genuinely open and inviting you’ll become.

Don’t take my word for it; test it. Cross your arms against your chest. What do you notice? After a few minutes, you’ll get quieter, more introspective and less likely to smile or laugh. It’s the body’s built-in feedback loop-’bad mood’ body positions result in bad moods, period. It works the other way around, too. Uncross your arms and keep your palms open for a couple of minutes. Hmm. Is that your spirit lifting or are you just happy to see me? If you want to attract gay men, heed this principle.

#4. The best way to meet and attract gay guys is to use open and inviting gestures.

Keeping your body open and inviting is so important to attracting guys that almost nothing else matters. If you cross your arms, for example, you might as well spray man-repellant on yourself. This goes for any gesture or movement that forms a barrier-holding your hands together, crossing your legs, closing your knees, slouching, or holding anything that blocks your chest, heart and stomach.

#5 Our bodies point toward men we like and away from men we don’t.

Does he like you? Look down. Men subconsciously point with their feet. It’s our way of saying, “Hubba Hubba.” Once, I was in a coffeehouse macking on a hottie who was ignoring his friend. He turned his body toward me, made lots of eye contact, and directed most of the conversation to me. Yet, for all those positive signs, I wasn’t feeling the vibe. My napkin fell to the floor and as I bent down to pick it up, I cursed under my breath. His feet were pointed to his friend! Sure enough, I saw them on a date a few days later. Guilty feet have got no rhythm but they never lie.

Putting it Together. If you want to meet gay men, pay attention to these five core principles of gay male body language. Whether you’re the pursuer or the pursued, the same principles apply: Your body language changes when you see a guy you’re attracted to (so be aware of it), you can consciously use certain body language tactics to change your mood, use open and inviting gestures and finally, if you want to know if a gay guy is attracted to you, watch where he points (especially his feet).

Mike Alvear writes a sex advice column syndicated to the gay press. His instantly downloadable ebook on gay body language, ATTRACT HOTTER GUYS, is available at http://www.mikealvear.com/ebook.

Frowning and crossing your arms is the equivalent of throwing Kryptonite at the Superman you’re hawkin’ on, but what about barely noticeable body language?

If you’re skeptical about how the subtlest body language affects your love life, play a game with me.

Straighten your arm as if you were doing a “Heil Hitler” salute. What’s the feeling? Dominant, aggressive, hateful, right? It isn’t your arm that’s creating those feelings, by the way. It’s your palm.

Watch.

Keep your arm in the air, but now turn the palm up. What’s the feeling now? Open, inviting, fun. Turn the palm down and you feel like Hitler. Turn it up and you feel like…

Evita!

Now, if a simple palm movement has that kind of emotional impact on you, imagine the effect it has on other people.

Clearly we don’t go around saluting like SS guards, but you’d be surprised at how every day palm gestures can have nearly the same negative effects. Quick example: I have a good friend who’s fairly disliked by a good many people. Although I think he’s kind and generous, some folks have taken me aside and said, “There’s something about him that rubs me the wrong way.”

That “something” is the way he uses his palms. In the Hitler example, you saw the raw emotional power of a simple palm position, but again, that’s not realistic. Here’s how your palms can make somebody dislike you (like my friend) in a real conversation.

Stand in front of a mirror so you can see the full effect. Let’s say you met a guy who’s so good looking he makes your teeth ache. Pretend you’re telling him a funny story about the time you asked a co-worker to move a pile of folders from one side of the room to the other. With your palm facing down, point your hand to the imaginary pile, then to where you want it to go. Now, try it again, this time by pointing with your index finger.

Either of those palm positions will make Toothache think you’re a prick. And he won’t even be able to tell you why. But I can. Research shows both of those hand positions communicate a contemptuous, overbearing personality. Especially, the finger pointing. It’s subconsciously perceived as a symbolic club that you beat the listener with, a kind of over-the-arm blow primates use to attack.

In fact, the research is so clear and so consistent it rises to the level of law: Do not EVER talk to anyone by pointing your finger or turning your palm down. If you’re a habitual finger pointer, stop. Yes, some guys are turned on by macho, command-and-control authority figures, but come on. When was the last time anybody said to themselves, “Tonight I want to meet an arrogant prick who thinks I’m an idiot.”

Author, columnist and TV personality Mike Alvear writes a sex advice column syndicated to the gay press. Meet and attract better looking men with his new gay body language eBook. His instantly downloadable eBook on gay body language, ATTRACT HOTTER GUYS, is available at http://www.mikealvear.com/ebook.

Nowadays, everyone uses internet dating services. With so many available to the gay community, it only makes sense to find the one that will fit your lifestyle. In this article, we will discuss some simple tips to keep in mind when choosing these alternatives.

First off, cast the net wide. Just about all gay online dating services will offer you a limited membership; take it. This will give you the chance to try many different services and choose the one or two that fit the best.

Next thing, be sure to locate your local gay dating base within the online dating site. In other words, check your locality for available members. This will make it easier to eliminate potential gay online dating services you’re only using as a trial-member. Obviously, the services that should make the cut are the ones that have the most members available to you.

Also, be sure to use all available functions of the gay online dating services that you’re trying out. Don’t just go in, contact a couple people, and never go back. Try all the gadgets out. There are many different functions that one site may offer that another doesn’t necessarily have. By doing this, you will also come closer to finalizing the exact gay online community that fit you the best.

Finally, to piggy-back off the previous tip, look for sites that can offer you the most. By this, I mean gay online dating services that have the possibility of messaging, chat rooms, private blogging, status feeds, webcam chat, and much more. You would be surprised at how bigger online gay dating services can offer much more in terms of functionality through more complex technology.

While we have covered many important points in this article, there many to still consider; for example, how to create an effective profile, what is proper etiquette, and how to choose a potential good partner.

To learn more about these points and much more, be sure to click the following link for more tips on Gay Online Dating Services.