What Destroys a Marriage- Avoid These 8 Pitfalls
Thursday, July 29th, 2010Are you wondering about your communication habits? There is a good chance you might not know if you have. Many couples wonder if they have hit a communication wall. If talking together is going nowhere and you need to stop your divorce, look at communication habits . Look at the communication styles to see if any fit you:
-I believe in most arguments I am right
I feel angered when my spouse says there is something wrong
I often talk over my spouse
I get impatient and it shows in my face, like eye-rolling
I forget often what our arguments were about
To stay peaceful in the marriage, I often shut down and don’t talk
I tend to say I agree even if I don’t
I often bring up the past to my spouse to use in arguments
There might be issues under the surface causing your behaviors. You might be so used to doing these actions you take them as normal. However, poor communication can wreak havoc on a relationship Your marriage may become nothing but fights, arguments and resentment. To stop your divorce, alter your communication style and learn some better approaches. Try looking at your partner’s side of the argument. In most cases, each person will have a valid point. Listening to your spouse’s point of view is helpful in building a fair environment in which to discuss.
If your partner brings up a problem, you needn’t take it as a personal attack. Stay open and keep listening.
Allow your spouse to finish speaking before you jump in. This lets them know you respect what they have said.
Hear out your partner without making judgments. Rolling eyes, sighing impatiently, dismissive hand movements are all body language that imparts lack of respect for what they are saying.
It’s impossible to hear your partner clearly when you are too angry, upset or emotional. Try to keep an open mind and focus on your partner’s words.
Not speaking up during a discussion or argument is not helpful to you or your spouse. Many people keep their opinions to themselves to avoid confrontation with their partner and to stay safe emotionally. Open up when you have the opportunity to share your feelings and make sure you are heard.
Agreeing with your spouse to keep the peace is not a long-term solution. Be yourself and share what your really think without fear. When you fake agreement you let yourself down and your resentment will build up.
Throwing up the past to your partner is a common tactic during a fight. You might use an example from the past to drive your point home. However, using examples from the past of their negative behavior shows you can’t let it go. Keep the conversation in the present day and talk about how the situation makes you feel today.
If the negative communication examples match what you are doing, you may have discovered you have room to improve. Although you might have bad habits, it doesn’t mean you can’t change your communication and save your marriage.
To stop your divorce, alter how you communicate. The thing to do first is to know how you communicate and then set about a change.