Posts Tagged ‘Love’

Find Gay Love on Line – Why Gay on Line Dating Sites May Not Be the Best Option

Friday, August 6th, 2010

During the last decade using the internet to find love has become more mainstream and excepted. The reasons are numerous: many more people have access to the internet and we are getting more educated in general on how to find anything and everything on line. Obviously convenience and access to people whom we might never otherwise meet, all play their part. It seems that everyone knows someone who met their mate on-line. But what if you want to find gay love on line? Are you better off going with a “general” dating site, or a site that caters specifically towards your sexual orientation?

The simple answer is that it depends on your relationship goal.

First it should be recognized that the development of internet dating has been a very positive one for many gay individuals. The anonymity it provides, and the convenience of being able to “chat” and “window shop” for a partner on line has special appeal for people whom might otherwise be very uncomfortable going to recognizably “gay” pick up places in their community. (That’s if they are even lucky enough to have such places near or where they live). So obviously the gay community was one of the first to embrace “specialty” on line dating sites.

Just type in “gay on line dating” or “find gay love on line” and you will be amazed at the number of sites that come up geared towards every type of relationship and fetish imaginable. These sites can provide wonderful eye candy, a fun distraction, maybe some fun on line flirting and sexting, but few of them can provide you with the screening and matching based on connection and compatibility that will lead to a long term relationship.

If you are looking for a long term gay relationship, you are best off utilizing one of the on line dating sites that have invested significant time and research into finding what makes relationships for all people work. Isn’t there more to you than just your sexuality? Long term relationships stem from not just finding things we have in common (anyone who has ever used an on-line dating service recognizes the dreaded term “like you, he’s a feline lover and likes to eat out”). Good grief, which narrows it down to about 80% of the population at this point! In order to be successful in the long term, compatibility and connection are not the only factors that are important. Chemistry is a huge component! No two people know until they get a whiff of each other’s pheromones in person whether or not the chemistry between them is combustible. However some “mainstream” internet dating sites have invested millions in research to at least make some headway in this area when matching you to people before you invest time and energy in corresponding and meeting them.

Using a “brand name” dating site to find gay love on line is no big deal. Although one very famous site received terrible press (rightly so!) for banning gay matches, on most sites your sexuality is almost a non issue. When you do a search you request “male looking for male” or “female looking for female” and the only matches that come up will be people looking for the same.

One of the top on line dating sites uses the highly regarded scientific research of Dr. Helen Fischer. A renowned behavioral psychologist, Dr. Fischer’s brain research found that in the area of the brain that responded to “true love” there was no difference between brain structure and function of heterosexual and homosexual participants. Both brains have the same biological need for love and to be needed that is as real as the physical need for food or water.

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Hate Crimes – Gay Discrimination in Schools

Friday, August 6th, 2010

Though apartheid is already a far outcry these days, being rejected by countries and societies earlier this century, the often small, invisible cases of bullying and discrimination are ever present in schools. Usually, they slipped away and often go unnoticed.

At present, violence against teen gays is increasing. According to a 2005 survey conducted by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, more than 64 percent of gay and lesbian students have reported physical, verbal and sexual harassment in school, while 29 percent of the students missed a day in class because they fear for their safety.

Those vocal, openly gay students earn most of the bullies’ brunt and later become victims of abuse. In a 2008 incident at Oxnard, California, Larry King, a 15-year old, eighth-grader, openly gay student was shot in the head by a 14-year old student, Brandon Mclnerney. King was often a subject of humiliation in their junior high school because of the fact that he was gay and comfortable in showing it, wearing high heels and make-up in school. However, King never showed defeat and instead fired back at the boys by either flirting or chasing them in school.

According to another eighth-grader witness by the name of Eduardo Segure, a day before the shooting, a boys’ love had been expressed. It was King saying he liked Mclnerney, which may have threatened his ego and self-identity. Jaana Juvonen, a psychology professor, said that it is possible for Mclnerney to feel threatened when King expressed to him.

With all these happening, the public wondered what schools actually do to educate students about discrimination and tolerance. Hate messages everywhere usually preceding attacks. Although school officials have met with gay activists after the incident to review the school’s tolerance program, they could have done something earlier to prevent it from happening. In fact, Jay Smith of the Ventura County Rainbow Alliance even questioned whether teachers are ready and knowledgeable on how to deal with gay teen issues such as boys’ love.

The incident has fueled the outrage again of gay rights activists and has been condemned as well by nearby communities. The killing of King led to vigils and a 1,000-people march. Apart from this, the incident has drawn the attention of the nation like the killings too of some other gay students such as Brandon Teena, the Nebraskan transsexual whose story was featured in a film entitled, “Boy’s Don’t Cry” and Matthew Shepard in Wyoming. Well-known lesbian TV host, Ellen DeGeneres, gave her sympathy and support. She said that she’s not a second class citizen, so as King and it’s OK to be gay.

True, the boys’ love issue can heat up arguments and can be a threat to any guy. However, it is not enough reason to kill let alone when someone expresses sexual preference by the clothes one wears or how one looks like. What are needed are more understanding, tolerance and eventually acceptance from the public.

Justin is a fan of boys love boys movies and maintains the world largest BL movies website known as asian gay films.

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Best Gay Love Stories 2010, , Very Good Book

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

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Making Sure He Won’t Cheat On Me Again

Monday, June 14th, 2010

Would you really believe that a man would be faithful to his girlfriend or wife? Infidelity is one of the many reasons why good and long relationships are being put to waste. Men cheat when there is an opportunity, while there is certainly a problem to the relationship when women cheat.

While there are not any absolute guarantees that will prevent him from cheating again, there are things you can do that will make him think long and hard before he is willing to take that step in the wrong direction again.

Tell him You Won’t Forgive him for Cheating Again?

1. It’s one thing to forgive him the first time around. It’s something else to place yourself in what seems to be setting itself up as a pattern of misery in your relationship. One time can be viewed as a mistake and forgiven. More than once is a problem. You have to make him understand that it is a problem you won’t tolerate. Knowing that this fateful blow (whereas the first time might have been) will act as more of a discouragement for his cheating than most men realize.

2. Keep him coming back to your arms. Surprise him with the new things you’ve learned to do. Do the things that he loves; play video games at his house together with his brothers, movie marathon, or you can tag along with him in his basketball practice. Making the effort to love the activities that makes him happy would make you the center of his life since he will be returning the favor by also doing the things that you like. Then in a few months, you’ll be inseparable.

3. Try to be spontaneous. You can surprise him with new adventures like going out of the country if finances are not a problem. In this way, it will fill up any vacant time away from each other and will leave him no time for extracurricular activities like bar hopping with his boys meeting new girls. Do something that includes his interest, even if this is something that you don’t enjoy. He will truly appreciate your willingness to please him. These activities planned together will give both of you time to look forward to. If you do this, it will be difficult for him to assess the outcome once he’d cheat on you again.

If you let her go the first time around it isn’t too late to get your ex back. It might seem like a really big hill to climb right now but you can do this.

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Importance Of The Knowing The 4 Signs Of A Cheating Spouse

Sunday, June 13th, 2010

Would it not be a nice idea to know that there are at least 4 signs of cheating spouses? By themselves alone, these signs are not sure fire guarantees that you indeed have a cheating spouse however when combined with one or more in the list then it is a safe bet for you.

Verifying before accusing is considered best and it would really be good to carefully consider if you actually want to know before you find out. It’s definitely not easy to undone things when you have knowledge of a cheating spouse. So check out the following signs of a cheating spouse:

Unexplained credit card charges and expenses. You are not getting gifts but your account is being charged, there has to be something in there in it needs to be checked out. This is also true for hotel room charges and dinners that you did not have any idea of. Financial worries are constant topics in marriage debates. For in truth, it has become the number one reason for divorces in the United States. After having that, then it must be a good idea to get to the bottom of unexplained expenses. The sooner the truth is made known, the better.

Computer or Laptop privacy and Security all of the sudden. When there is an obsession about computer secrecy on your partner’s part, then it is definite that something is being hidden. Consider getting a cyber snooping programs that would help you look out for your partner’s computer activity while you’re not capable of doing it yourself.

Your partner has a new email address or IM nickname that you are not familiar with. This suggests that your spouse is interested in having a new freedom or anonymity online. How about getting one of your own too and strike up a chat. This will give you a hint on the extent your partner would be willing to go with an anonymous stranger on the other end of the cyber connection.

The bedroom fire stops burning. This a big hint that your spouse is getting hot sex somewhere else, putting up some emotional and physical distance between the two of you, or getting entangled with issues of a different kind. It is a safe idea to get to the bottom of things when you got a sex life that gets cold as you go along. Absence of intimacy in a marriage destroys the same in a faster rate than the others.

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